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02-Sep-2017 22:50

However, none of it is real, and this isn't how a normal relationship is supposed to progress, Dr Steven Stosny writes in a blog post for Psychology Today.

If you feel a relationship is progressing too fast, then it probably is, says Stosny.

Psychologists and the online community of survivors of narcissistic relationships use several terms to help make sense of what happened to them, such as why they fell for a narcissists charm, why they were targetted, or what made someone they loved treat them this way.

Because once you start to be able to talk about it, you can start to realize the way you were treated wasn't okay.

They probably told you how different you were to anyone else they've dated, how you were "the one," and you two were "meant to be." They might have complimented you all the time, given you expensive gifts, even taken you on holiday.

In reality, they probably weren't Prince/Princess Charming at all, they were just reeling you in, psychologists say.

You may feel like you're always saying the wrong thing and making your partner angry, but you have no idea what set them off.

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Sometimes, the narcissist may even have known about you before they started speaking to you.It can start with a lie here and there, a snide comment every so often, until it ramps up more and more.It's like the "frog in the saucepan" analogy: heat is turned up very slowly, so the frog never realizes it's starting to boil to death.When they're trying to reel you in, a narcissistic person is likely to mention how badly they've been treated in the past.

They may refer to past abuse in their life, or bad previous relationships.It has to be someone who they know they can get a lot from, but also with vulnerabilities, according to a blog by therapist Silvia Horvath on Psych Central, which is why they often target people with low confidence and an underlying self-esteem problem.



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